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Humor: The Five Easiest College Majors

By Tyler Duniho on October 16, 2012
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Photo courtesy of Civilian Scrabble via Flickr.com

 

A professor in Wake Forest’s Department of Economics has compiled a list of the hardest and easiest majors. If you’re undecided about your major, and, at this point, you just want to get your degree and get out, what could be less stressful than choosing one of the five easiest majors?

Please know that I don’t think you’re stupid if you majored in one of these. I know many bright people who majored in each. On the other hand, the researchers ranked chemistry, my major, as the hardest major, so I will make fun of you. But realize I’m poking fun because I’m jealous. I studied hard and spent hours in the lab, an endeavor that has me thinking I should have chosen one of these instead.

So here are the five easiest majors (according to this professor’s study) and my haughty, yet worthless, opinions of each. I give some basic ideas of what you can do with each one, but don’t be surprised if the job you obtain has nothing to do with what you studied.

1.   Education. If you are an education major, congratulations! Not only do you have the easiest major,but  you and your classmates also have the lowest entering SAT scores. All of my fiancé’s roommates are education majors, and I’m constantly baffled at the elementary-school-like projects they’re assigned. While I busted my butt writing Advanced Synthetic Techniques lab reports and learning how to solve differential equations, they were coloring–literally. But teachers are always needed so you will most likely have a job when you graduate. Plus, you’ll have lots of pretty drawings to put on your parent’s fridge.

2.    Language. Face it: learning a new language is easy. Millions of three-year-olds do it every year. All it takes is memorization, the easiest form of learning. With this degree, you can teach the language you majored in, teach English to non-native speakers, and translate. I’d suggest majoring in Chinese since they will soon own the entire world.

 3.    English. By becoming an English major, you are dedicating four years of your life to study a language that you’ve been speaking since you were three. When I first applied to college, I was going to be an English major, but then I chose to major in chemistry at the last minute. Boy, that was stupid of me. I’m not going to recommend any jobs for this degree, mainly because you’re not trained for anything (I’m just kidding, Molly! Please continue to edit my articles!).

 4.    Music. I won’t make fun of this one. I love music. But can you please try to get worthless hacks like LMFAO and Carly Rae Jepsen off the radio? Pretty please?  With this degree, you can perform, teach (notice a pattern?) or find a number of jobs centered around music. You’re supposed to be the creative ones, so be creative.

 5.    Religion. A lot of my friends majored in religion, and I make fun of them constantly. Wasn’t the Bible written so that the dumbest people can understand it? And it’s going to take you four years to study it? Right. This major also trains you for nothing. Don’t believe me? Go to the website for Duke’s Department of Religion and see how it fumbles with the question: What can I do with a major in religion?

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I have graduated with a major in chemistry. I also knows how to write well. That makes me a rare breed, indeed.

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