10 Posts You Shouldn't Post on Social Media: We All Want You To Stop

By Chad Anthony on February 1, 2014

With social media blasting in our eyes every time we look at a screen, people tend to become enveloped in the virtual world.  There are so many options, all with their own cult following (get it?) and purpose.

Image from About.Twitter.com

A little birdie told me

Live tweeting is a thing that people do.  An actual situation is occurring in front of their eyes and their fingers are typing as frantically as a coke-addled stock broker.  I’ve tried live-tweeting.  Three tweets in, I realized that I was sacrificing my own viewing pleasure to update virtual friends.  I allowed them to vicariously use me.  Barf.  That doesn’t mean I hate live-tweeting, I simply use others for my informational benefit with keeping track of racing statistics or CNN News breaks.  And it’s a great way to stay in shape.

Image from HypeBeast.com

That 1977 filter made your steak look so good

Alright, I have to admit.  I am that guy who takes pictures of food and posts them to Instagram.  Wanting to share my love of eating with fellow ‘Grammers (that just became a thing), the instinct now is to pull out my phone to snap a quick “Keep Calm and Eat Healthy” picture of my sesame-ginger broiled salmon and broccoli.

Image from InsiderMonkey.com

You should totally make an event about it
Facebook has become an irrefutable asset for college students, grass-roots companies, and your grandmother.  Whenever a meaningful event occurs, people tend to post it for their “friends” to see.  The gratuitous “likes” and “comments” flow, showering the individual in waves of support or encouragement.

If a spare moment pops up before class, a quick glance at social media usually takes place.  What can be seen ranges from photos taken in Australia by a peer studying abroad to the latest relationship change from that chick you knew in high school.  When perusing these sites, I often become disinterested and question my partaking in this virtual world.  How in the world did you think THAT was suitable for your 1,500 ‘friends’ or stalkers to see?

10. That passive aggressive tweet about that guy you blew last week because he said he loved you
- That post only 5 people know about may make you feel all high and mighty but it’s really annoying to everyone else.  Right now you’re saying, “I don’t care.  It’s my page and I can do what I want.”  In the eyes of all your stalkers followers, you’re that girl (or guy) who’s emotionally unstable and a complete gossip.  No one wants to be that chick.

9. Pull your shirt up or down
- This one is really simple.  If you want attention from non-jack-ass guys, stop posting selfies of you in your bra, duck-facing.  Yeah, it gives you a breath of fresh narcissism when you see that 184 guys “liked” that “Rise & Shine” photo.  Ever think their liking it because of your tits?  Or the fact that your g-string obviously shows?  I mean, of course I’ll “like” the shit out of that post, but all the while thinking, does she know my reasoning?  Oh, and dudes with that shirtless picture in the gym.  Totally not needed.

8. OMG I super relate to this Buzzfeed post
- Buzzfeed has successfully reformed the journalist field.  Numerical lists are all the rage now because it’s information spoon-fed into the readers brain-holes.  It’s like a refreshing dose of knowledge with a side of mental laziness.

7. Allying way too strongly with your hometown
- One picture-book post flew across my newsfeed that made me smile a tad.  37 signs You Grew Up in South Florida definitely made me laugh, but all it did was make me slightly reminiscent about where I grew up.  Slightly pointless.  Sharing it will only be targeting a very small sub-set of my friends list.  To everyone else it’s just one more piece of junk-feed.

6. Relationship changes change the world, sort of
- Some individuals do this as an outward act of virtual aggression.  Sure, that bitch cheated on you and you want to get back at her.  But there’s no sense in changing from “In a Relationship” to “Single” with the accompanying status update, “Hittin’ up downtown with the BOYZ. F*CK B!+CH3S GET $$$$!!”  Seriously, that just makes me hate your face even more.

5. Stop spreading your nonsensical propaganda
- Oh, the numerous groups of tribute pages or petitions is extremely humorous.  There’s a page for anything really.  ”Satan?”  Yupp.  A fuzzy dog?  You bet.  I get that people are passionate.  But, at what point is someone too passionate about knives?  If I wanted to talk politics, I would ask you about politics.  Your stance on abortion can be left at the search bar.  No need for crazy feminist rants through Facebook.  You can harass random guys that come up to you at the bar with that shit.  According to Hannibal Buress, the struggle is real.  No need to bring that baggage into the virtual world.

4. Keep your posts to their respective websites
- You seriously want all of your virtual friends to know about that sunset?  Scrolling through Facebook only to see the same picture of your dog on Instagram is really annoying.  We’ve all seen it already.  Stop clawing for attention.

3. Generalized inspirational quotes
- Yes, it’s always fun to get a little pick-me-up by reading 140 characters of Gandhi.  Don’t act like that’s your lifestyle.  You aren’t a monk.

2. Slightly relatable memes
-  Finals week became inundated with memes describing the struggles of college life and the human condition.  The sleepless nights reviewing notes must have made everyone susceptible to posting-vomit.  Everyone attempts to be unique and creative by posting humorous pictures with temporarily-justifiable statements.  It becomes exhausting sifting through all that garbage.  Be funny naturally.  Don’t force it.

1. Useless hash-tagging
-  We’ve all seen it.  There’s a three word description about a palm tree picture with 20 hashtags that become increasingly vague.  Let JT and Jimmy inform you of the pandemic.

I know I’m guilty of one or more of these social media no-no’s.  But, why do we post?  We think people want to know, obviously.  There may be a diagnosis for our predicament.  I’ve always thought the mind to be very interesting.  It can be the reason for an amazing, successful life filled with happiness and wealth.  It can also be the complete bane of someone’s existence, destroying them from the inside out.  The mind has the immense ability to make someone believe an event or interaction occurred.  In our case, our brains tell us to post that quote because “it speaks to me.”  One may say a delusion.

According to PsychCentral.com, an ailment exists that many of you could be unknowingly adopting.  Can you guess the name?

Delusional Disorder!  It’s characterized by the presence of non-bizarre delusions, persisting for at least one month.  To clarify, non-bizarre means that the individual believes in something that isn’t out of the scope of reality.  The event, thinking an office worker is about to die or your roommate is stealing your Capt’n Crunch (you still owe me a box, Ethan), could potentially be true.  The individuals experiencing these symptoms do not act out of the norm.  They remain functional in society, and the delusions can’t simply be written off as a “mood disorder” if the idiosyncrasies have been ephemeral.  One particular type is categorized as grandiose, or delusions of inflated worth, power, or knowledge.

So, do you agree that we all suffer from Grandiose Delusional Disorder?  How about you make a status about it.

Chad Anthony attends the University of Dayton, on track for a degree in English. He writes and cooks, while having a weird obsession for hot tea.

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