The Craigslist Chronicles: Summer Edition Part II

By Max Berman on July 8, 2016

As the summer goes on, more people are driven indoors to escape the heat, as well as the daily mundane actions of everyday life. Some people choose to read or watch television, while others take to the internet to voice their opinions. Normally, this would be done via Facebook or Twitter, but there are a select few who enjoy the public forum of Craigslist to debate life’s most pressing questions. Below, we have a compilation of some new opinions and thoughts from Craigslist members all over the world.

 

LAPTOP “Junkies @ StarFuckks’ Coffee/Never leave! (chelsea ny)

“they never leave; the starfucks laptop junkies who PLUG in ….and never order coffee..and strolll and troll thru the internet; O HOME>>>>GO HOME you funny fuckerss!! My favorite starbucks day is when I go in…get my coffee and take a table where the AC plug outlet is by my table; I SEE THESE LAPTOP JUNKIES SEARCHING FOR AN AC OUTLET to charge their computer..they run around the store and get totally frustrated”…hhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

image via dailymail.co.uk

 

At least someone’s looking out for those Starbucks employees!

 

Bozeman Office Depot (Bozeman)

I have been trying to get the “extended warranty” plan on my Coffee Maker honored for almost three months. I have done everything I was required to including sending the merchandise back. My claim has been resolved and I am supposed to get an eGift Card for the amount of $139.99 sent to me. I spent an extra $24.95 for the plan (which I didn’t want) and was told I would receive and “easy” return if the item broke. I sent the merchandise back which cost me time away from work too. You have my merchandise which I PAID FOR. I also PAID FOR your “extended warranty” for which I am supposed to receive a refund for up to one year after the manufacturer’s warranty runs out. I have done all that is expected of me, was told I was being refunded my purchase price but have not received the refund. Basically, I have been robbed of approximately $165. I keep getting transferred around between Asurion and Office Depot (GO DEPOT) and getting nowhere. What do I have to do to get what I you to honor your part of this “warranty?”

 

I really hope I end up seeing how this one turns out. Normally when I have a problem I call the company directly, but posting on Craigslist may be just as effective for her!

Nigel is looking to score – I’m looking to adopt

My crested gecko Nigel needs the love of a good woman. It is preferable that said woman is also a gecko (not that he’s closed minded, I just don’t see how it would work any other way). His life is a lonely one. Abandoned at a young age by his previous master, forced to wander alone in the wilderness before being rescued by me (actually I just carried him from his old house to my car in a small bowl. Not really a bowl I guess, it was more of a tupperware kind of thing. The kind of thing that you buy worms in when you’re going fishing. Not fishing for carp though. They don’t like worms). He now rules the 20 gallon tank behind my couch and defends it from all comers. Deceptively calm during the daytime on his little plastic tree, he goes out after dark to roam his kingdom. Nigel grows stronger by the day, feasting on crested gecko diet and the souls of small crickets while their cricket mothers weep, never to see them again (unless they look in his poop. Then they could see their back legs. He doesn’t seem to digest those very well). You might be thinking, “20 gallons? That’s too big of a tank for most geckos to handle on their own. That would be better for a snake or bigger lizard.” Well new craigslist friends, Nigel is not “most geckos.” He handles that territory like Mr. T handled driving that van in The A-Team. Not the movie from a couple years ago, the real show. I pity the fool who thinks that movie was better than the show.After all that, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want another gecko, and I can’t put a male in with him because they’ll fight to the death. Undoubtedly the death of your gecko because Nigel cannot be defeated. If you have a female crested gecko that you would like to rehome, and aren’t too annoyed with my overuse of parentheses, you can reach me by email.

image via deviantart.com

Wow, I wish someone cared about me the way Nigel’s owner cares about him…

PLEASE BRING BACK OUR STONE WALL – No questions asked

Whether it was a misunderstanding or what, the stone wall was NOT included in the free items offered up on Craigslist. Please bring back the stones and the pillars, as these belong to our landlord, and the wall was of sentimental value. No questions asked.

What I’d like to know is how someone managed to completely steal an entire wall out of someone’s front yard. There has to be something said for the amount of effort it takes to carry out a mission of that intensity.

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